‘Workaholics’ Share Tips For Schmoozing And Slacking Off On The Job
If you think your co-workers are annoying, count your blessings. Chances are they’re nothing like the trio of cubicle-bound slackers on Comedy Central’s new show, ‘Workaholics.’
Blake Anderson, Anders Holm, and Adam Devine star in this new 10-episode comedy about three completely unmotivated friends fresh out of college, who live and work together as telemarketers. Dealing with waking up at early hours, long work days, deadlines, quotas and dress codes are completely foreign to these three guys.
Instead, they spend their time on the new job scheming ways to avoid any real work or responsibility, while spending their nights partying, drinking and looking for good times like they enjoyed back in college.
Adam Devine plays the cocky guy who skates through life on his charisma, charm and instinct, though he’s really a dim bulb. Anders Holm plays the serious and book-smart employee who works hard and wants to be taken seriously, but has little tact. Blake Anderson plays the fun-loving party animal type, whose strange personality no one seems to quite understand fully. He’s the perfect combination of weirdness and self-confidence.
The three actors/comedians first produced their show online on their website mailordercomedy.com. Comedy Central saw the videos and gave the three a shot at the big time on the network, with their own half-hour comedy series based on their Web series.
AOL Jobs chatted with the three comic actors, in character, about coping with their new life on the job as telemarketers on the show. Needless to say, these admittedly unique employees offered some unusual tips for professional advancement and more.
What’s the worst part of working a 9-5 job right out of college?
Adam: I would say the worst part is waking up at 8AM in the morning and having to go to work and then having to stay there all day, when I was just used to sleeping in.
Anders: The worst part about working a 9-5 job is that you don’t get the “one on one” contact that you used to have with a professor where you could know where you stood … where you would get a grade for your work. Unless you’re getting a lot of sales on the phone at this office, it’s tough to know where you stand. I’m the kind of guy that likes a lot of encouragement, but unfortunately our boss doesn’t give a lot of that.
Blake: I guess smuggling snacks has gotten way harder for me, because in class you get to bring in a back-pack. Usually my back-pack in college was filled with tons of Twizzlers, Gummy-Worms and all that. At work, you have to have laptops and crap like that. I dunno, it just seems harder to snack 9-5. But, ya know … you can take the dude out of the streets, but you can’t take the streets out of the dude. I’m not going corporate … ever.
How would you describe yourself as a worker?
Adam: I’m good when I want to be. The problem is that I don’t want to be good all that often. I would say, out of the three of us, I’m the best natural salesman — but, that’s not my top priority necessarily, unless the other guys are trying to get sales too. Then, I want to be the best.
Anders: I’m good. Probably, one of the best kinds of workers. I’m diligent, organized and no B.S. I can be ruthless on the job too. Blake isn’t the only guy that’s from the street. I’ve got a lot of cred to my name. I’m a no-nonsense-type guy and I don’t like turkeys.
How do you deal with annoying co-workers on the job?
Adam: Normally, if we were just hanging out in the dorm, we would just drink the pain of having annoying classmates away. But you can’t really do that on the job. Luckily, with our job as telemarketers, we have headsets and I just pretend I can’t hear them.
Anders: I would probably just shut them down and take all their business from them and ruin them, so they would have no choice but to leave the office. I can’t tolerate that kind of thing.
Blake: We kind of rule the cubicle with an iron fist. We definitely have threatened to take some of the littler co-workers to the wall in the bathroom. We rule with fear.
How would describe your boss?
Adam: Alice, our boss, is straight sexy. She looks like and smells like coffee and cigarettes, and I’m into that.
Anders: I would say she’s a fair and stern boss and I look up to her. I can’t wait to work beside her one day. Right beside her!
Blake: She’s not my mom and I wish she would stop acting like she’s my mom.
What’s the best way to schmooze a boss?
Adam: I think the best way to accomplish that is with a lot of sex appeal. Now, I don’t know if it would work in every office, but whenever I get the chance, what I do is I take off my long sleeve shirt and I show off some of my tricep muscles … a few lats, perhaps, and show who the real boss of the cubicle is.
Of course, if I had a man boss, I’d try to impress him with my muscles as well. I’d probably take him to the gym and then demand to see how much he could bench press. Then, I would bench 15-20 pounds more than him.
Anders: I grew up working on a lot of extra credit in school and that hasn’t left my practice. So, when I’m in the office, I’ll do a little extra no matter how my sales are doing … because it’s not all about sales, it’s about going the extra yard. If I can do that and impress my boss, then I’m halfway to a promotion.
In college I was always someone that dudes looked to for pointers on life. If anything, I’d give my boss a lot of advice on the proper way to run a business. He’ll need that advice, unless he wants me to take over his job.
Blake: I would be more than willing to have Alice our boss come over for a barbecue and some beers. But, I don’t know if she fully wants to know what our lifestyle is all about. I don’t know if she could hang with us, to tell you the truth. We get wild, we drink “40s”, we’re not afraid to light up a few joints.
If I had a guy boss, it would be a hundred times better because I’ve never really had a friend that was a girl. It’s a fear thing on my part I guess. I’m creepy looking, but I’m fine with that.
What’s the best way to slack off on the job and not get in trouble?
Adam: I like to put on sunglasses and take a quick nap. I tell my boss my eyes were recently dilated at the eye doctor and then I have an excuse to take a quick snooze.
Anders: What I’ll do is I’ll go into the break room and I’ll hit the vending machine and get one of those Rice Krispies treats. I’ll pop one open, fold a napkin over it and put it in the microwave for about 30 seconds and then, just sneak into the bathroom, sit on the toilet and snack for a little bit.
Blake: It’s weird. People bring so much food to the office that the fridge is like a never ending, delicious buffet. So, it’s basically you open up the fridge and take what you like. The names on the Tupperware mean nothing. We’re all one. We should all be sharing. And, you’d be surprised how easy it is to hide alcohol around your cubicle.
What’s your best office prank to loosen up some uptight co-workers?
Adam: A lot of times I like to loosen the wheels on a certain co-worker’s car, so when he drives off, his wheel falls off before he gets too far. That’s always fun. Or, maybe mess around with his chair, so when he sits down, he falls over. Shaking a little vodka into his iced tea is always fun too.
Anders: I’m known for my pranks, and one of my classic ones is unplugging someone’s computer mouse, and then, I’ll hide around the corner and watch as they try to make it work and they can’t because it’s unplugged. I’ll unplug the monitor and the keyboard too. It’s great.
Blake: I’m a student of comedy, and half the reason I grow my hair this long is because I’m a huge fan of Carrot Top, the comedian … so, it’s all about the props, rubber snakes, whoopee cushions, disappearing ink, stuff you can get any magic store. It’s just a load of fun.
‘Workaholics’ debuts on Comedy Central on Wednesday, April 6 at 10:30PM, EST.
- By Tim Estiloz